i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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