My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
