why didn't you poke me back
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
