I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
