GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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