He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
