he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize