everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
