he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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