i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
