I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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