Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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