There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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