I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
