So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Your cock deserves a montage
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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