Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
