i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
