i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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