Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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