I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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