I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
