Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
your like the ambassador to my penis.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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