I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
