If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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