Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
