I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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