Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
This baby is an asshole
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
