What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
