Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
