Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
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