we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
