Cold hands, warm shart.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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