I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Randomize