His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
