Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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