ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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