you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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