but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
