I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
