brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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