While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize