And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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