it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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