Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
