You work out of a Hotel?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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