I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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