I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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