i just snorted my name. best moment ever
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Randomize
