my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
