I wanna bring you to show and tell
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
