For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
