so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I have already put on my inside pants.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
