At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Everclear isn't food dammit
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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