I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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