Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
