ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Two words: blizzard sex
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
