You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
