you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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