Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize