your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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